Monday, January 30, 2012

Penny for your thoughts...

I don't particularly care for unsolicited advice - I think no one does. I do appreciate people who care enough about me to give me such unsolicited advice anyway, but they do it in such a polite manner that I feel as if I asked them to advise me. Like my friend H, who sent me an email regarding my name, or my friend J who sends me pics of what dress I should wear. I like that. I like that because they are both just saying what they think while fully respecting whatever I choose. My friend J also happens to have the same taste in dresses as I do, so her advice is much more like SOLICITED help.

But then come the people who express their opinions in ways that make you want to kill them. Seriously. I am no murderer, but sometimes I can see why murders happen. Phrases that begin with, "It is so stupid to [insert MY personal opinion about the subject at hand]" seriously bring out the worst in me.

Dude, I think, if you want to persuade me to think like you and to agree with you, you *might* not want to begin your statements with how stupid I am.

But they don't realize what they are doing. They don't realize that they are messing up real bad. They don't notice the veins in my neck swelling up, my face reddening, my fingers twitching, my breathing getting heavy... no. They don't notice. They are so enthralled in their arguments as to why *people* (but they really are referring to ME) are stupid when doing such and such, that they don't notice my desire to shoot them. Or hit them. Or both.

You know what? They might even be right. When I think about the subject from a completely detached POV, I kinda tend to agree with them. Even their arguments are good. And when I try to be absolutely objective, it IS kinda stupid in the end.

But, you know what? I am the 99% - the 99% of the people in the world who get pissed off when someone else calls them stupid! Especially when the *someone else* at hand has no moral, legal or affective authority to do so! And even more - or, rather, even less when THEY are stupid. They breathe stupid, they walk stupid, they talk stupid, they live stupid.

(Ok, I may just be a little immature right now.)

The thing is, there are several topics that call for opinions, and others that don't. There are certain things that are to be decided by ONE person - by the ONE person to whom it pertains. Say, for instance, that you are invited to a very nice, very elegant birthday party (J, you get it?!). Say that you are the birthday girl. Your parents, especially your mother, who hosted you in her belly and gave birth to you, get to say something about the venue, the food, the guest list. Yes. It may be annoying at times, but they do get to say what they think. They also get to overrule you at times. Then you have your boyfriend (or girlfriend, in these modern times one never knows...), and he gets a say, too. He's the person with whom you spend the most time, so he has earned the right to *think*. He gets a say in what to offer the guests for drinks, and maybe even some kind of say in music and other details. If you have a good relationship with his parents maybe even they have the right to an opinion. They may suggest a good wine, or the most appropriate time or date. Maybe. Your best friend(s) totally gets a vote, and gets the power to veto, too. Not many people have veto power. Best friends do.

There is, however, one thing, one tiny little detail that only you, YOU as birthday girl have power over. The littlest of all things, for which no one, NOT ONE PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE can protest. Not even your mom has a say in this issue. Not your life-partner. Not your best friend. Not your amazing little sister. Not your dying aunt or grandmother or god-mother. No one at all. That thingy is...

Your dress.

You can wear whatever the heck you want because it is your birthday - and you will cry if you want to, cry if you want to. You want to wear a skanky little black dress? Go ahead. You want to wear a huge white snow-monster type of dress? Knock yourself out. You want to wear a tight kinky scarlet red dress? Be my guest. You want to wear a summery sun-dress in winter? Just do it. You want to wear a thick and warm wooly suit in summer? I dare you.

No one, NO ONE can tell you what to wear. Not on your day. And that day comes only once a year... unless I am using "birthday" as an allegory for something that happens only once in your lifetime. In which case seriously, absolutely no one has a say other than you.

So, for all the people out there who have thoughts on what I am going to be wearing on my birthday, I will give you a penny for your thoughts. Not a penny to tell me your thoughts, but a penny to put your thoughts in a little bag, fill it with rocks, and throw it in the far, deep end of the body of water nearest to you.

It's my dress. It's my problem.

(And I will look amazing, if I may say so myself!)


  1. Lol...Duly noted!

    I guess that what I have always say is right..."Is not what you say but how you say it"

    1. Definitely! Also, if no one asks you, keep your damn comments to yourself! :-)

  2. Darling, about the dress for the big day: some people just never had, or will never have the chance to choose their own dress. Or they never found the right person. :'( So they might want to dream with you.. but they mess everything up with a bossy thought: YOU CANT WEAR THAT, YOU HAVE TO WEAR THIS.

    Well, relax, give a fake smile and do what you want. Everyone wants to sail on your pretty boat, and as the boat captain, you have to know how to deal with all the passengers...

    love, Cris...

    1. Cris, I am very happy to be so far away, because I can do a lot of things like I want to do them, without having to ask too many people. I think all brides should plan their weddings from abroad! :-)

  3. Anda... abran paso que aquí hay una Colombiana brava, decidida a que le respeten su punto y punto. Natalya, cuando les vas a contar a este grupo de lectores angloparlantes la vez en que por aquello de "tu derecho de ponerte lo que quieras y punto", te pusiste un vestidito rojo pegadito, ajustadito, cortico, chiquitico, divino, que te quedaba tan lindo pero tan justo que no te permitía sentarte, entonces pasaste toda la fiesta de pie para verte linda... ¿te acuerdas? Cuenta, cuenta, así nos reimos todos del precio que has pagado por ejercer "tu derecho a ponerte el vestido que quieres y punto". Este 14 de julio del 2012 estaré bien atenta a guardarme mi penny for my thoughts, aunque conociéndome, SEGURAMENTE TE VERÉ HERMOSA (estoy moviendo el meñique de mi mano izquierda y sonriendo con plena satisfacción de esas que solo las mamás podemos sentir cuando sabemos que la hija se vé hermosa no-matter-what). Escribo en español porque quiero, just in case you are wondering... keep your penny for your thoughts or ask Natalya to translate this y punto.

    1. Ja ja! Se me había olvidado ese vestidito rojo!! Ese podría ser un buen follow-up post :-)