Thursday, May 12, 2016

Today, I'm going to be a bad mother

I woke up not feeling well, from a night of very little sleep. The baby is sick, and my husband caught whatever the baby has, which means I am a full time nurse and nanny - and that also means that I don't have time to get sick.

So, today, I'm going to be a bad mother.

My baby and I will lie - vegetate, really - in bed for a long while. At some point I will carry him (amidst hugs and slimy kisses, no walking today) to the kitchen, where I will prepare an extra big bottle for him. We'll go back to bed and he will drink his bottle there, reclined against daddy's pillows and enjoying the darkness provided by the blackout. Then we will lie in bed some more. Who knows... we might even nod off for a bit.

Then I will be a bad mother because when we eventually move to the living room, there will be no didactic playing or developmental activities or sensory spiel. No, not today. Today I'm going to be a bad mother and just watch Netflix with him all day - by which I mean, until he gets tired of the TV and moves on to another game. But meanwhile we will watch Kung Fu Panda (his favorite movie) and - about 10 minutes into the movie - we will go to the kitchen again (maybe he will walk this time, maybe) and I'll make him breakfast. But because I will be a bad mother today, we will have breakfast on the couch, watching Po learn kung fu and Master Sifu teach him. And, you know what? We might even nod off for a bit.

There will be cookies and crackers throughout the day. For me. If he wants a bite or two, he may.

Today, I'm going to be a bad mother because I won't force my child to sit properly in his high chair and eat his penne bolognese with a fork. Today I will be bad mom and just let him eat... with his hands... and squish the noodles between his fingers... and throw them on the floor... and then grab his hair... and then stuff his mouth with more noodles than fit... and then touch his shirt and pants and - yes - his hair (again). Since I'm being a bad mom today, I won't even be angry. Hey, at least he's eating, right?

As I'm being a bad mom, after lunch I will just place him in the dishwasher - kidding. But I will fill the bathtub with bubbles and just let him soak in there. Soak. Splash. Play. Scream. Make a mess. I won't even roll my eyes. Not today.

Then we will take a three hour nap together, just the two of us. Since I'm being a bad mother, I might as well be a bad wife and housekeeper and just not wash or clean or tidy up. Nah, I will deserve the sleep and rest.

At some time in the afternoon we will go downstairs to the garden and just lie there on the grass and watch the birds fly above us. I'm going to be a bad mom today and I won't stimulate him with games and activities to further develop his senses and his brain. Today we will just enjoy nature without any reason or meaning or hidden agenda. I won't even bring toys downstairs with us - it will just be me and him and tickles and hugs and slimy kisses. And we will wait there for dad to come home...

We will have leftovers and chicken nuggets and fries for dinner - because I'm a bad mom. And since I will have been a bad mother all day, his dad will just tag along and be a bad father. The baby will have a good-night bottle (which he hasn't had since he was 12 months old - like, 3 months ago...) while resting on daddy's lap, and the three of us will lie in bed together and we will fall asleep like the tired, sick family we are.

And we will be bad parents and spoil our baby with all the love in the world. Maybe he won't learn much today, since I will be a bad mother. But, boy, will he be loved and hugged and kissed and tickled.

That counts, right?