I hate marketing

I hate marketing. I hate it. I hate it -- because it works.

You see, I'm getting married in seven months (yay me! Check out our wedding website), and I need to do all the planning here in Germany for a wedding taking place in the Caribbean coast of Colombia. It does seem like a challenge, but I am an amazing planner and I can do it. Also, my mom and sister/Maid of Honor have it all under control.

But, as I said, since I'm in Germany, there are many things I need to do online. So I have to rely on websites to kinda figure out what I want.

Before I went online, I took advice from my good friend Hope (who also recently married) and closed my eyes and imagined my perfect wedding. This is what my perfect wedding looks like:

At the beach, hopefully getting our feet wet while saying "I do", at sunset, with only our closest family and friends (so, no more than 20 people), drinking piña coladas and eating fish and coconut rice, listening to soothing background music and laughing, laughing because we are all so deliriously happy... and because we have had too many piña coladas... The decorations would be the palm trees and the stars, and a full moon would be cool. Nothing more, possibly less.

So I requested quotes from ALL the hotels and resorts on the general vicinity of where I dreamed this wedding. There was one website in particular which caught my eye, because the pictures are so amazing and the site is just so well made. In fact, look at it. When looking at the other websites, this one really became my favourite. But, as we all know, webmasters only post the BEST pics, right? So websites are not really trust-worthy...

They replied first. Like, the replied within the 24 hour thingy that everyone claims and no one manages. My first impression of them was already getting better. And things only improved from that moment on: impeccable writing skills (I am one of the mean people who ALWAYS correct others), perfect use of font size, and a wording that made me feel like royalty:

Dear Miss Delgado Chegwin:

Congratulations on your wedding! It would be for us the greatest privilege to be able to host your event. We would very much like the honor to make your special day even more special. You deserve it after all. Our expert staff is at your discretion. Please see the attached quote, and let us know how we may contact you for further details.

Please allow us to reiterate our congratulations for your and your Fiancé. May you two have a wonderful beginning on your own personal "forever".

Sincerely,

--Hotel Staff

If that wasn't enough, their quote was more than complete. 

Reception venue. Catering with exotic sea food. Open bar with national and international options. Decorations by a renowned professional decorator. Music, live band and DJ (including all the sound set-up). Professional photographer and videographer. 

Not only that...

They have their own Priest, so the actual ceremony CAN be held ON THE WATER (well, at the shore at least) like I wish. 

The quote included a violin duo for the wedding march, an organ for the ceremony hymns, fireworks for our first dance, a group of professional dancers to "pump things up" a little before midnight, a little midnight dinner treat, 2 minutes of fireworks after midnight, and then again the violin people to give us the farewell as we leave the reception (at 2 a.m., when by law the party has to end) and go enjoy our first night together as a married couple in the honey moon suite, courtesy of the hotel.

The quote also included pampering of the Bride PRE-wedding, so Spa, manicurist, and blah blah blah. 

It was far from my dream wedding. Faaaaar from it. But it sounded amazing. Seriously. Doesn't it sound amazing?! I mean that is just one step short of a Disney wedding.

It was not what I dreamed of, definitely not what I needed for my 20 friends laughing at my beach wedding... 

BUT I WANTED THAT SO BADLY!

That just became my dream wedding - BOOM! I want the 1000 guests and the violin and the fireworks and all that crap. I want it all. I WANT ALL THE THINGS!

But ALL THE THINGS cost 30 million pesos - that's 15K in US dollars. It may not sound like too much to you, but our budget is that amount divided by 3. So, no. 

The thing is, when I sit down and look at it from a rational perspective, it's a real NO, because I don't want that fake fairy tale wedding. I don't want it. I have never dreamed of that. I don't like fireworks. I don't like people prodding my fingers or toes. I don't want a Honey Moon Suite. I don't want a pro to decorate my wedding and my cake and me and tell me how I should look on my day. 

But marketing... ah, you evil, evil thing. You make me want it.

So I turned down their offer with a bittersweet feeling. I turned it down rationally knowing that even if I had the money, that is NOT what I wanted. But I also turned it down painfully, because, I ask myself, Really? If you had the money, would you really not want it?

Marketing, I hate you.