Monday, September 26, 2011

The Culture Thingy

I'm one of the most jealous women I know. But (I like to think) I also have some class, so I'm not one to make a scene. I'm the type of jealous person who will disappear. Move to a new continent, perhaps. *hint hint* Also, I'm no longer a big party girl... two things which don't go very well with my party-loving-beer-drinking-salsa-dancing-flirty-boyfriend. Lately, though, in order for us both to  be happy, I have decided that, for me, the party is over when I want it to be over; and, for him, the party is over when he wants it to be over. That means that, in party days, I come home at 10 PM and relax and enjoy me-time (which lately means blog-writing-time), and Honey comes home sometime in this lifetime and falls dead asleep.

It's a very German lifestyle, and I'm not sure I like it very much. But I sure do appreciate having a little me-time, and not having to endure situations I don't want to endure. He comes home every night, mostly unharmed (I have to ask his permission to explain that), and we're both happy. (Sort of.)

I guess I'm growing up, right? Learning to trust and accept and all. Right?

Wrong.

There are many things about the German culture that I do appreciate. Like the fact that both subjects in a couple help out with the house up-keep, very much unlike my latino-macho culture, where a guy anywhere near cleaning utensils is immediately emasculated. But, at the same time, I dislike that the Germans do everything 50-50 style, like paying for rent and utilities and anything else together, half and half, much unlike my latino macho-culture, where his money is our money and my money is my money. I like that the Germans have plenty of friends and enjoy social life and have many extracurricular activities - so many, in fact, that you'd think the extracurricular activity is actually their job, and everything else, all the fun stuff they do, is their actual life. How do they have so much money all the time? But I do dislike that the Germans do things on their own. That is, one subject in the relationship goes out with his/her clique, and the other does the same with his/her group. (Do you like how I'm trying to keep this totally PC?) I hate that. And Honey strongly dislikes it, too. We enjoy each other's company, and we want to have fun together. A relationship doesn't work if I am nagging all the time because he came home late or didn't put the dirty dishes in the sink, or didn't bother to wash the darn dishes. I hate nagging. Everyone hates nagging. And so we try to have some fun together, as well.

That does not work out very well with our German friends, you know? They like the occasional double-date thing, but more often than not, they want a Guys' Night Out, without girls. Or at least without girlfriends. And forgive me if I sound a little old-fashioned, but I don't want any other girls around my guy, German or otherwise. To be perfectly honest, that last part was just my normal-girl-imagination kicking in. A German Guys' Night Out does mean only Guys. That's weird about the Germans - they don't lie. If their going to a strip club, they say it. I guess I gotta give them points for honesty...

We're settling in. We're doing our best. We're Colombian, but we live in Germany. We try to bring the best from both cultures into our lives and make it work for us.

Tonight, for instance, we have a private party. And next week, I have a girls' night out. We're thinking about going salsa dancing after some cocktails and appetizers. Honey said he'd show up later... which I think will be the best closing for my fun Mädelsabend. It might be time for our German friends to start getting used to our Culture Thingy.

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