Monday, May 9, 2011

Inappropriate questions can only bring inappropriate answers

We had the loveliest Skype-chat with Honey's sister and her husband. She's about 7 months pregnant and looks so cute and chubby, and her husband is so sweet: he talks to her belly and caresses it. They are such an amazing couple, such a real couple, such a successful couple. I envy them - in a good way. We're actually pretty good friends, the husband and I. We understand each other and our position as outsiders in what is a very close, tight-nit family that ALWAYS has a thought that must be shared and an opinion that must be voiced. Not to forget, they also hold the undeniable truth. But then again, I could very well be describing my family to an outsider, or more than likely, yours. Families are "interesting", to say the least. And all we can do is learn to love them in spite of themselves.

So anyway, we were talking and talking, quatsching, like the Germans say. About the weather, about our dinner, about cost of living in Peru and Germany and Colombia... and then, Mr. Husband says, "May I ask an inappropriate question?"

I totally knew where he was headed. We've talked about it before, him and I. In private. Without other members of "the Family" present. Actually, Honey and I have also spoken about it, in private. Without members of either of our families present. And I've thought about it - oh, god, how I've thought about it! I think I've reached that age, or my biological clock is ticking, or I just feel like it's the reasonable next step, or it would be a new adventure to undertake.

Or all of the above. But I've thought about it.

In any case, it's one of those situations with which I can do nothing but wait. And that is so not like me. I guess I could be all emancipated and liberated and "go Feminism" and do something about that, but that's also not like me. I want to be the "receiving" part of the situation and only  have one word to say - no explanations, no pleas, no bargains. Just one word.

Honey and I've spoken about it. And by that I mean I have stated the situation as I see it, and I have clearly stated my expectations and the "consequences" should my expectations not be met. Politely, of course. I wouldn't want to scare him or anything. Honey just kind of nodded. Actually, I kinda brought up that conversation in the middle of another big talk, which made that conversation seem completely secondary. Almost unimportant. But the point was made, nonetheless, loud and clear.

There is no correct answer to an inappropriate question posed at an inappropriate time to the inappropriate audience. I excused myself from the conversation with a lame explanation; Honey appealed to bad jokes and dark humor; his sister and bother-in-law didn't want to let it go (well, in all honesty, his sister was more uncomfortable than I was; it was mostly her husband who kept pushing!) and posed the same question with different words. Still, no straight-forward, honest answer.

But then again - inappropriate questions can only bring inappropriate answers.

2 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahaha....You do realize that there are two possibilities to what THAT innapropriate question can be? I will go with the less crowded one....or was that one it?? ;-)

    ReplyDelete