But this year Honey really didn't want to to do anything. He said that he did not feel like inviting both friends and acquaintances to drink at his expense, but that he did not know how to not invite the acquaintances; he said it was too complicated, and too expensive, and that he didn't have any ideas for a venue, and and and, but but but. After trying to convince him for a couple of days (that was waaaay back in early November), I came to a realization: You know, I told myself, the fact that you like birthdays does not mean that everybody else has to love birthdays as well. Why don't you let Honey celebrate his birthday however the heck he wishes to celebrate it?! And so I told Honey that we would do whatever he wanted to do.
And since he wanted to do nothing, we agreed that nothing would be done.
Except that sometime in late November he said that we had actually thought about it and that he agreed with me: he wanted a party. But he didn't know where, and he didn't know who to invite, and he didn't want to spend too much money (or any at all), and he didn't and didn't and didn't - only negatives. He even mentioned that it would have been awesome if I had planned a surprise party for him, so that he would not worry about anything or anyone and just enjoy his birthday.
I got upset and told him to stop sending me mixed signals: either you hate your birthday and you don't want anything, or you simply don't enjoy planning events but do enjoy your birthday. It's one or the other. But you can't claim to hate your birthday and expect people to still celebrate it for you! Also, I said, I have no time to plan anything. It's two weeks to your birthday, I'm sure everyone is already scheduled for something else, I said.
But I told him not to worry, that his birthday present would make up for his momentary sadness. I had purchased it already, and I knew he would love it. I had found the perfect present: something that he really wanted, but something that didn't cost too much - because, like every other man, he enjoys spending his money on me, but hates it when I spend my money on him. I like this mentality... And my gift met all the criteria.
Finally, the birthdate arrived. We had gone to bed early on Friday so at 8 a.m. on Saturday we were wide awake. When he got up to go to the bathroom, I ran to the closet, where I had hidden his present, and ran back to the bedroom to wait for him. He came out and I sang, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Honey, happy birthday to you! and proceeded to present him with his present.
He looked at the box - smaller than he was expecting, but still seemed heavy. He opened it and -
- was vastly disappointed. It was a "beauty kit for men" from Nivea, including shaving creme, aftershave and bath and shower gel. But dark blue, so very manly.
I told him his reaction was unfair, for he had told me that if my gift to him was too expensive, he would force me to send it back. And I stayed within a very reasonable budget, so I didn't understand his reaction. He said I was right, apologized, and very politely pretended to enjoy his gift.
A couple of hours later I made him breakfast, a very special birthday breakfast. While I cooked he showered. I laid out brand new clothes for him, which we had bought earlier last week. New shirt, new pants, new boxer shorts, new belt. We sat down to eat -
- and the doorbell rang.
We weren't expecting anyone, but it is not terribly unusual for the doorbell to ring on someone's birthday. So he went to open the door, only no one was there...
... no one, but something.
He could not believe his eyes. Was this a joke? It clearly is a box which claims to contain a TV, but, but, really?!
I had spoken (early November) with very close friends of ours, and had arranged for this 51" plasma Samsung 3D TV to arrive at their house so that Honey would not notice. They brought it over, helped us set it up, and had some cake and juice.
Honey asked if they wanted to come by in the evening for a beer or something, and they said that only for a few minutes, because they had another appointment previously scheduled. But that was ok, Honey figured. They could come by for a beer or two, and then we could both watch 3D movies all evening together and so spend his birthday.
It was all agreed. We went out to a romantic lunch and came back in time to meet with our friends. We were watching TV while waiting for them and the doorbell rang.
As scheduled for over two weeks, all his friends walked into the apartment! SURPRISE!
Aw, Honey! Of course I had something planned for you! Of course I was not going to let your birthday go unnoticed! Of course I was not going to honor your I-hate-my-birthday wishes! Of course I was going to surprise you!
And I did. And we had a blast.
Honey, it's not that I ignore your wishes... it's that I know you well enough to know which ones are the ones you really wish for, and which ones are those you want me to ignore.
Happy birthday, Honey!
BTW, you can take a guess as to whether or not
the TV was returned due to exceeding the expected budget...
To view more pictures, go to this youtube link