Monday, October 31, 2011

I'm Average

I think there is nothing worse in life than being average. That is actually my biggest fear - well, right alongside the crocodiles under my bed finally eating my toes, and the guy sitting in the corner of the living room walking towards me. There are (thank god) no monsters in my closet.

No, but seriously: I am terrified of being average! I think it is terrible to get lost in the masses. Especially now that the masses have reached 7 BILLION (and according to the BBC World Citizen Counter I am number four billion six hundred ninety-seven million six hundred and one thousand eight hundred twenty). I mean, we have got to find a way to stand out. But then again, if all us, if all seven billion of us try to stand out, we will, ironically, not. So I guess some, the majority, would have to actively NOT stand out in order for a few of us to do something *special* that will differentiate us (whether positively or negatively is up to each of us) from the rest. It's not easy. And that's why the challenge interests me... and the possible outcome terrifies me.

Maybe that's why I so enjoy moving to different continents - oh, yeah. When I move away from home, I don't just go to an apartment in another neighborhood, oh no. I change continents. I try to go as far as I can possibly afford. So my first move was from Barranquilla to Augusta. Then I went to the farthest possible place, Lampang. And then to Bogotá. And then to Madrid. And I find myself now in Kiel.

It's a great conversation starter, you know? And it makes for a great initial differentiator.

...except when my interlocutors are also globetrotters.

So then I dig deeper into myself and think, Hm, what makes me *special-er* than them? And I reply to myself, I can fluently speak two languages and am very well advanced on my third one. I pat myself on the back thinking I'm pretty awesome, you know.

...except when I realize that my interlocutors are all multi-lingual globetrotters.

I know I'm special, I just have to really concentrate on finding that one detail that makes me special. And I find it: After successfully completing two bachelor degrees (magna cum laude, ahem), I am now pursuing a Masters degree. I kind of inflate my chest and feel like doing a victory dance.

...except when I realize that my interlocutors are all multi-lingual globetrotters pursuing MA and PhD degrees.

There has got to be something, I know I have something that makes me different from these people. Something that makes me stand out, something that makes people remember me. It's not so much a matter of them liking me as it is a matter of them knowing who I am. And remembering it. So I look for more detailed things; like, ok, we are all multi-lingual here. But my Spanish is by far the best.

...except when I realize that my interlocutors include two other Colombians, a Mexican, a Guatemalan two Argentinians and a Spaniard.

Ok, then, my English is by far the best.

...except when I realize that my interlocutors include an American.

Oh, but my southern accent is the best.

...except when I realize that my American interlocutor is from Nashville, TN.

(And that I really can't do a southern accent.)

My German. My German as a foreign language is the best - in the world of the blind, the one-eyed man is king, right? I mean, not only is my German really, really good, but also my progress is something awe-inspiring.

...except when I realize that most of my interlocutors speak far better than I do, and have apparently had the same learning period.

Maybe, I think, I shall be noticed because my German is by far the worst?

...except when I realize that some of my interlocutors are from the Middle and Far East and have serious problems with western pronunciations.

I am average. I am ordinary. I am normal. I am one of the lot.

I am not the prettiest nor the ugliest. I am not the fattest nor the skinniest. I am not the tallest nor the shortest.

I am average. I am ordinary. I am normal. I am one of the lot.

And I have no idea how to not be.


  1. Life is good in the middle, just think of it... would you rather be the yummy surprise in the middle or the sandwich bread?

    1. It depends on the bread, Kat!! :-)

  2. Hehehe...that used to be one of my hates, but after a handfull of years feeling despperate to stand out and not only knowing, but showing I am no average, I realized...what the heck, I am so what?

    I may not be the best in something, anything! That was enfureating, every time I try and be the best at something, someone was already wayyyy better than me. "Hell I am a great driver...but you are not Montoya buddy (althought he is not GREAT GREAT)" or when I said "Ok so I am great at videogames...but you are not, you might be good in your city, might be top in the country but when you go nose to nose with some other guy online, slapped...I am not that good" It was a cancer eating me, making me feel mundane and regular.

    After all these I started thinking that is was good, just accept it and stop fighting it...there will always be better and worst than me, making me the regular guy, so to end it all up but still pat myself on the back..."I am still above average bitches!" lol

    1. That's the right attitude: "I'm still above average, bitches!"