I miss my friends. I miss them so much. We had fun together, yes; but I have fun with my "German Acquaintances", too. We did stuff together, yes; but I do stuff with my "German Acquaintances", too. We used to talk very often, not to say all the time; but I talk with my "German Acquaintances" all the time, too. I miss my friends because they get me. I miss my friends because they are like me.
You see, I'm a geek. Or a nerd. Or a book-worm. Whatever you wanna call me, I'm that: I'm that girl who always does her homework, just because, well, you should do your homework. I'm that girl who does her homework in a clean sheet, just in case it needs to be handed in; and I'm that girl who uses colors to emphasize different topics. I'm that girl who takes awesome notes in class. I'm that girl who does not need to study for a test the night before, because she has been studying since the chapter began two weeks ago. I'm that girl who does not worry about whether or not the teacher explained the concept clearly enough, because she will come home to re-write her notes and study again and make sure she learns what was taught; and if she has questions, she will call people who will explain and clarify the problem. I'm that girl who is always early to class and leaves at the very end of the lesson. I'm that girl who always raises her hand to ask a question, and then one more, and then one more, and then one last one - and then one very last one. I'm that girl who complains when the teacher is late, or when the class was not deep enough, or when the material covered was not satisfactorily explained. I'm that girl.
And I like being that girl.
The thing is... my new classmates don't appreciate that girl. I learned (the hard way) the difference between people laughing with you and people laughing at you. It sucks. Honey asked, "But didn't that happen to you all the time when you were in high school and in university?" I said, "Well, no. So either I was not that girl back then, or at least people were very careful to laugh at me behind my back."
I miss my friends. I miss my friend Amanda, with whom I used to sit and talk endlessly about Southern literature (because I have no love for Thomas Hardy and she has no love for Gabriel García Márquez). I miss my friends from the Honors Program; I miss "wasting time", à la Phish, talking about intellectual and academic stuff. I miss being around people who actually think 80% is not a good grade; around people who are saddened by a 90%; by people for whom nothing under 100% is enough. I miss my friends, they were (are?) just like me. We understood each other, there was no laughing at, only laughing with. And, man, did we laugh! I miss the Honors Conferences, I miss the Honors Lectures, I miss the making of a thesis, the research, the investigation, the discussions. I miss going All ahead ful, aye! I miss thinking WWJD? I miss our smart inside jokes. I miss intellectual discussions, not Big Mac Index discussions.
Amanda, Lindsay, Will, Canuck, Ryan, even Lying-Cheating-Bear and the Lying-Cheating-Bear's-Helpers... Kat, Dave... Julie-Bitch, Dar-Dar... Bob, Rosy, Marilú... I miss you guys.
I guess that just confirms what I've been claiming for 6 years now: Augusta was the best time of my life.
You see, I'm a geek. Or a nerd. Or a book-worm. Whatever you wanna call me, I'm that: I'm that girl who always does her homework, just because, well, you should do your homework. I'm that girl who does her homework in a clean sheet, just in case it needs to be handed in; and I'm that girl who uses colors to emphasize different topics. I'm that girl who takes awesome notes in class. I'm that girl who does not need to study for a test the night before, because she has been studying since the chapter began two weeks ago. I'm that girl who does not worry about whether or not the teacher explained the concept clearly enough, because she will come home to re-write her notes and study again and make sure she learns what was taught; and if she has questions, she will call people who will explain and clarify the problem. I'm that girl who is always early to class and leaves at the very end of the lesson. I'm that girl who always raises her hand to ask a question, and then one more, and then one more, and then one last one - and then one very last one. I'm that girl who complains when the teacher is late, or when the class was not deep enough, or when the material covered was not satisfactorily explained. I'm that girl.
And I like being that girl.
The thing is... my new classmates don't appreciate that girl. I learned (the hard way) the difference between people laughing with you and people laughing at you. It sucks. Honey asked, "But didn't that happen to you all the time when you were in high school and in university?" I said, "Well, no. So either I was not that girl back then, or at least people were very careful to laugh at me behind my back."
I miss my friends. I miss my friend Amanda, with whom I used to sit and talk endlessly about Southern literature (because I have no love for Thomas Hardy and she has no love for Gabriel García Márquez). I miss my friends from the Honors Program; I miss "wasting time", à la Phish, talking about intellectual and academic stuff. I miss being around people who actually think 80% is not a good grade; around people who are saddened by a 90%; by people for whom nothing under 100% is enough. I miss my friends, they were (are?) just like me. We understood each other, there was no laughing at, only laughing with. And, man, did we laugh! I miss the Honors Conferences, I miss the Honors Lectures, I miss the making of a thesis, the research, the investigation, the discussions. I miss going All ahead ful, aye! I miss thinking WWJD? I miss our smart inside jokes. I miss intellectual discussions, not Big Mac Index discussions.
Amanda, Lindsay, Will, Canuck, Ryan, even Lying-Cheating-Bear and the Lying-Cheating-Bear's-Helpers... Kat, Dave... Julie-Bitch, Dar-Dar... Bob, Rosy, Marilú... I miss you guys.
I guess that just confirms what I've been claiming for 6 years now: Augusta was the best time of my life.
Even if I'm not "that kind of girl", I also felt COMPLETELY out of the group when complaining about a long strike on our university in France. (sighs) Keep up with your good work (but accept you might sound annoying to some people, as the trouble makers seem to you).
ReplyDeleteDont worry about the ones that laugh at your back, they're at their place.. way behind you.
And I'll always have UGA as the best year of my life.
xoxoxo
Cris Motta
I have always considered you "The All-That-Girl" Girl! Now that I am on the teaching side of the classroom, I miss THAT GIRL even more! Augusta was a really great time...
ReplyDeleteIt does seem that we see more when we look back than when we look forward, no?
I know you will find your place in the German Academic World - you have a gift, and you ARE a gift.
The world may not be looking forward enough to SEE YOU right now, but it will.
Love you my ASU alumna!
Kathi