I once was a writer...

I think there is nothing worse in life than being average. That is actually my biggest fear - well, right alongside the crocodiles under my bed finally eating my toes, and the guy sitting in the corner of the living room walking towards me. There are (thank god) no monsters in my closet. No, but seriously: I am terrified of being average! I think it is terrible to get lost in the masses. Especially now that the masses have reached 7 BILLION (and according to the BBC World Citizen Counter I am number four billion six hundred ninety-seven million six hundred and one thousand eight hundred twenty). I mean, we have got to find a way to stand out. But then again, if all us, if all seven billion of us try to stand out, we will, ironically, not. So I guess some, the majority, would have to actively NOT stand out in order for a few of us to do something *special* that will differentiate us (whether positively or negatively is up to each of us) from the rest. It's not easy. And that'...

When learning a new language, we all make mistakes. That's normal. Native speakers are generally patient and kind. Generally. The thing is... there is only so much I (as a foreign national, trying my best to learn their language) can get away with. Take Thailand, for instance. Thai is a damn hard language to learn: they have 46 graphemes (symbols, so to speak) that with 10 "accent marks" represent more than 100 possible sounds. In my mother tongue, Spanish, we attach one (1) phoneme (sound) to every grapheme. It's super simple. It's easy. English is not quite as easy, what with short and long vowels and all, but it's easier than Thai. I could get away with my Thai because the people noted I was trying real hard. Also, I made it my mission to learn only a few phrases to help me survive - but to learn then perfectly . My mission was to pronounce them so well that, if with eyes covered, even the Thais couldn't tell my nationality. My plan worked. My numbe...

It's not every day that you turn 23 for the fifth time. It is, in fact, a very special moment. It's been a long run, a nice one, but 5 times is enough. I have no idea how old I'll be next year, so I really have to make this last one special. But how? How do you make a birthday special? Is it special because you get to eat things you usually wouldn't eat? Is it special because you have "permission" to drink more than usual? Is it special because you get gifts? Well, yes. I love gifts. But is that really what makes it special? It's only a little special because it's my first birthday in Germany. It seems as though I'm collecting birthday locations: Barranquilla, Bogotá, Miami, Augusta, Atlanta, Lampang, Rome, Madrid, Kiel... was noch? I have a million plans, a million resolutions of sorts - but then again, I kinda suck at resolutions. The whole "I'll go to the gym more often" and "I'll eat healthier"... yeah, that'...

I have a couple of friends--Kathi & David--who have a very particular sense of humor. Toilets, for instance, make them pee their pants with laughter. It has something to do with a you-just-had-to-be-there story about Kat and Dave going to a hotel, and Kat not finding the bathroom in the hotel room. I didn't get it then, and I don't get it now. But every time they need or want to do something funny--which is quite often--, they use toilet humor. Like, the day I met Dave (mind you, at this moment, back in 200...1? 2? I did not like Kathi very much. And she did not like me much either. We had aweful nicknames for each other. I was "Miss All-That-And-A-Bag-Of-Chips" --code name for my arrogance and my need to do everything I could possibly do on campus, on my own--, and she was the "Conservative Frigid Bitch" --code name for her being conservative, frigid, and well, a not-so-nice-person. Well, it was late afternoon one day, we were both in The Bell Ringer of...